Monday, 2 July 2012

Amsterdam - Bikes, Boobs and blurred vision

Let's not beat around the bush. Amsterdam was on the "30 before 30 list" for the same reason that Vegas is on every "lad's" stag weekend list. You get to do all the things you would never dare to and without any of the repercussions (and I had a Birthday to celebrate!)

Miss Sensible and Captain Pac-a-mac were off to let their hair down and try to make it back to England in one piece...

 I had Birthday bubbles, chocolates and gifts delivered to the hotel :) - Yes they are tickets to the Burlesque show, as if the Amsterdam boobies weren't enough!!

We learnt that Amsterdam has some amazing bakeries and a "Condomerie" in between them.

We had a city tour (500+ BF points, obvs) Apologies to all the men getting an earful from their missus' that THEY didn't think of that:

We saw the smallest house in Amsterdam. 

He ate yummy things like this:

We learnt the difference between a Coffee Shop and a Cafe and to avoid any confusion there IS a big difference.

We got drunk with the Bulldog Cafe staff (and somehow ended up BEHIND the bar) (Yes this was about 6:00pm):

I was very excited about all the bikes thanks to Mikes Bike Tours:

The locals weren't shy (cheers mate!):

We found out about music venues like this:

We ate a LOT of cheese! (Certified cheese tasters now - get us!)

... and supped more wine! 

We saw lots of beautiful sights like this:

He rode a bike called: (not a euphemism)

We went to the Sex Museum to see the "art":

We drank our way around Dam Square:

We tasted some of the local "baked goods" and don't remember much after (red eyes? Try no eyes!) The chocolate brownies are the yummiest and funniest apparently:

And then we recovered the only way you should:

We saw some red light ladies, some red light boys and some things I don't know how to describe to you. (2euros and you can have a "Peep" yourself!)

 It took a while for the sound of the acrylic nails tapping on the glass to stop ringing in my ears and for me to stop staring as the curtains fling open to reveal a very shocked man in the window hurrying to pull his pants back on!

Smile buddy, you're famous!

So to conclude... all those things you hear about Amsterdam are absolutely TRUE!

Good times and a bloody good Birthday!


  1. Yay the Netherlands def. are cool, I love to travel there. I was disappointed that you didn't tell us now WHAT exactly is the difference between a coffee shop and a café (;

  2. I loved it too, it was our first time but it would be fun to go back once the rest of the travel list is done. It's a bit bonkers!


    A coffee shop will sell you bad coffee, baked goods to make you "happy" and allow you to smoke (if that's your thing)

    A CAFE will sell you great coffee, won't sell you any of "those" baked goods and you can't smoke in there!

    As long as you get your head around it there should be no awkward moments haha. Failing that if the signs are in green and the door is vacuum closing you're probably in a coffee shop! ;)


Please leave a comment and thanks for reading! MF x